Why planning is important:
http://m.aljazeera.com/story/2012111382019297736
KY Advance Directive
http://www.caringinfo.org/files/public/ad/Kentucky.pdf (very readable; from National Hospice & Palliative Care Org.)
http://www.kyjustice.org/node/584 (lots of explanation)
http://www.lrc.ky.gov/krs/311-00/625.PDF (the legal statute & document)
OH Advance Directive
http://www.caringinfo.org/files/public/ad/Ohio.pdf (from National Hospice & Palliative Care Org.)
http://my.clevelandclinic.org/patients-visitors/legal-ethical-decisions/personal-medical-decisions/advance-directives.aspx (packet of info from the Cleveland Clinic)
http://www.ohiolegalservices.org/public/legal_problem/wills-and-probate/advanced-directives/qandact_view (Ohio Legal Services)
We recently just got out of class where we had the two woman form hospice come in and talk to us about planning and advance directives. I think this is a very important thing to talk about with family, even at our young age a tradegy could happen anytime. I plan on talking to my family about it, because I have strong believes about what I would like to happen to me in these situations. And with my parents getting older I would like to know what they would want to happen at the end of their lives.
ReplyDeleteJust to go off of your statement that a tragedy could happen at a young age, I certainly agree that we all need to know how our loved ones want to be treated under these circumstances. I had a friend lose his younger brother (16 years old at the time) pass away from an ATV accident in the summer of 2011 and I know it seems young but I'm sure he did not have a conversation about what he wanted if that situation every arose. So I'm sure his parents had issues regarding not only dealing with the tragedy, but also whether or not to continue certain medical procedures and hope for a miracle. With that being said I do believe it is very important to discuss these issues with our families, even if we are just now becoming young adults because you never know what could happen.
DeleteI agree with you Dalton. One of my good friends in high school died and I dont think that anyone was completely positive about what she wanted done exactly. No one had talked to her about it, because we were young and shouldnt have had to talk about stuff like that. But sadly stuff happens in life. And we can only hope that we provided her with everything that she would have wanted.
DeleteAfter listening to the talk about advance directives, I think it emphasized even more on why they are important. Before the class discussion I have considered many times talking with my family about my advance directives and what I want in certain situations. Many people think that at the age of 21 it is a little young to be thinking about that stuff, but after what I have been through I can't tell you how many times I was asked in the hospital if I had an advance directive or a living will. At first when they asked me it kind of scared me because I didn't know why I needed it, but now I know the seriousness of my situation and I understand now why they wanted to know if I had one. Like Amanda said, anything can happen at anytime to anyone and I am an example of that. If you would have asked me before my situation if I wanted to make a will or talk about advance directives I would probably have said no, but considering everything I have been through, I think it is something that everyone should talk about with their family at an early age just because it is true that anything can happen at anytime and it is very important to stress that. It is also important for your family to know what you want in certain situations and for you to know what your family members want in certain situations so you can avoid arguments when it comes to that point.
ReplyDeleteI plan on talking to my family over Thanksgiving break about their advance directives and what they want in certain situations.
Recently there has been a big push within my family (including extended) to make a living will or advanced directives. Especially after the last episode with my grandma breaking her hip. Getting her to make one and to apoint a person has still failed. It's hard for older people to understand why they really need to plan for the future because "back then" no one worried about that kind of stuff you just lived till you died.(as the lady from Hospice said we are all terminal...) Therefore what a great (I use that term lightly) time of the year to start talking about our impending doom. but in all seriousness it is important to let loved ones know what we want done when that time comes. This makes it easier on the family because the choices are already made.
ReplyDeleteI do agree that talking about advanced directives at a young age is necessary. I believe it is necessary due to the unpredictability of what each day of a persons life can hold for them. Nobody ultimately knows when they will die, however life styles and health play a part in making a good guess on when or how they will die, but ultimately we do not know. This is why it is a good idea to talk about an advanced directive as soon as possible. I personally have talked about it with my family years ago (though I have nothing in writing.) and it was scary and weird at first, but if you sit down and think about why it feels better and even relieving.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you Peter, if you just sit down and talk about it calmly and bring it up in maybe a humor sort of way it could go a lot smoother around the family dinner table. I think it is important, even at a young age, to have an advanced directive. Times are getting tough in the world and if you are unable to communicate for yourself someone should be able to in a time of crisis.
DeleteI felt like it was a lot harder than we talked about in class. Maybe my family is more shy when it comes to talking about death and advanced directives, but when I brought it up everytime (okay I only brought it up twice) the subject seemed to be switched. Guess I have to keep trying to figure this out.
DeleteSo it is a couple days after the class when we had the women come talk to us about hospice care and advanced directives. I would just like to say that the conversation is a little tough to bring up with a healthy family. I did however manage to bring these ideas and thoughts to my immediate family, and we had a great discussion about it. I was able to learn my parents wishes, which to my surprise were not necessarily what I thought they were going to be. Although we did not officially fill out any paper work or forms, I do know now that if there was a tragedy I would feel comfortable helping with the care of both my parents and my siblings. I also feel comfortable with my family taking care of my health if I was ever placed in that kind of a situation. They all know how I feel about my health care and how I want my life to be spent, and they understand now what my meaning of life is and what I feel is actually living. They know that if this cannot be achieved again or if improvements in my condition do not happen that they must take the next step in my wishes. It feels good knowing more about my families thoughts and knowing that they understand my wishes. I encourage everyone to try and talk about it even though it is a little hard to bring up. It's worth it!!!
ReplyDeleteHappy Thanksgiving to all. Front page of the Kentucky Enquirer lists a story about a man who is dying of congestive heart failure. He knows this is going to be his last Thanksgiving but is enjoying the heck out of it surrounded by family, accepting that death is near and a natural part of life. He says he has taught his family how to live now he gets to teach them how to die. His one lesson he learned more than any is to speak frankly about dying and leave nothing unsaid. He has seen first hand as a volunteer with Hospice of Cincinnati that once you accept that you are dying you are less frightened...it is just quite natural. His advice is to make sure and let the ones you love know it.
ReplyDeleteThis was a very touching article and I think it goes hand in hand with letting your family know your wishes so that everyone is on the same page. It really can be as simple as writing a letter like our classroom visitor shared with us. Personally, I have followed that theme in my own life. The first time I flew without any of my family I left them each a letter detailing my love for them. (I hate to fly). I go back and review those letters every once in a while and they give me peace of mind that my family will always know how much I love and respect them and have a keepsake when I am gone.
I have a giant envelope of letters from all my family members from all of the religious retreats I went on in high school. I know that my brothers have similar files of love stashed away. It is great for family to express their love for each other even before death or illness can bring the issue up. I try to write my parents letters and notes as often as I can just to let them know I love them. I really like the idea that when I am gone someone can open a letter and hear my voice in their mind as they read my words to them.
DeleteLast night I had a great talk with my parents about advanced directives in the even of my illness, injury, or death. I now feel calmed about the possibilities. I also learned a lot about how my parents want to be treated in near death and after life. The next step will be to talk to my brothers so that they know how they should proceed for me if my parents can't speak for me. I like knowing that someone will always be my voice should I be unable to choose for myself. Happy thanks giving!!!!
ReplyDeleteAs I sit here reading these blogs (I'm on night shift at work on the hematology and oncology floor at children's) I really think that no one can do this too early. We have kids here under the age of one battling cancer and blood diseases. No one ever knows when something bad will come into their lives, so early preparation is key to less stressful events. These families go through so much here, I am going to keep pushing my family to answer my questions about the advanced directives to prevent future stressful moments in my family's future. It is not going to be very easy, however nothing in life that is worth something is ever easy.
ReplyDeleteI think the toughest part about dying without an advance directive is leaving your family with the burden of trying to make decisions for you. As was brought up in class, Terri Schiavo showed an extreme case of this. I would hate for my family to have to go through something like that. I think it is very important for everyone to have an advance directive because you never know when something could happen. People think "nothing will happen to me" but then when it does they are unprepared. The topic of dying is "taboo" because we have made it so. Once it has been brought up it is a bit easier to discuss. Once the initiative has been taken, people are more willing to come to terms with the subject and realize its importance. Most of my family lives far away so the next time we are all together I will try to get the conversation started and see if anyone has an advance directive or has thought about what their wishes are.
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ReplyDeleteMy parents talked to me about their wishes and showed me their advanced directives when I turned 18. I did not bring up the topic of advanced directives during our Thanksgiving conversation because my uncle has stage 4 brain cancer, and I thought it might be a little to touchy of a topic at the time. However, in the past I have talked to my grandparents about it a little.
I took this operatunity and asked my parents over break about what they would want done. Because as i sat in class I realized that I had no idea what either of them would want. I am glad that I took the time to ask them and feel prepared to deal with it if something was to happen. I also am going to continue pushing them to make wills because at this time they do not have one. I did not get a chance to talk to my siblings but I feel that we have all been raised the same way, they should have matched if not similar answers to the questions. I plan on asking them soon.
ReplyDeleteI must admit, I had only ever thought about advance directive once or twice before having had the women from hospice come and talk to us. After hearing several instances of how hospice is handled and some of the situations that occur, decided to take the idea of advance directive into a much deeper thought and much greater possibility. It is of utmost importance to be prepared if something were to happen to me, and plan on discussing this with my parents soon.
ReplyDeleteI talked to my mom about what she would want to happen if she were in a death or near death situation. The conversation wasn't that awkward. I already knew what she would say about the topic. However, I have not brought up the topic with my dad. My parents are divorced, so I don't know my dad nearly as well as I know my mom. I only talk to him about once a week, so that would definitely be an odd thing for me to talk to him about.
ReplyDeleteBefore this class I had never heard of advance directives, but im very glad I know about them now. Over thanksgiving I did not bring up the topic of advanced directives because of my grandmothers passing a little over a month ago. Even though I did not bring it up over the holiday, I do plan on bringing up this subject of advance directives at a later date with my parents. In my opinion there is no reason why someone wouldn't have an advance directive.
ReplyDeleteEven though my previous comment referred to the importance of talking to your family about advance directives and medical treatments even at an early age I did not discuss such topics during Thanksgiving. It wasn't so much based off the fact that I didn't get a chance, I just didn't want to bring up topics that although aren't extremely morbid they certainly change the mood. Being that I just wanted to relax and enjoy my time with all my family on Thanksgiving, I decided it would be better to save it for another day. Also, I am extremely close to all my family that I see during the holidays so I figured some time at the lake, or other get togethers may be a better opportunity.
ReplyDeleteIm glad I mentioned this to my family because they definitely did have some misconceptions about what would happen to me after I died. But after a quick discussion we got everything sorted out so everything is all well and good. We did get to the subject of what other people in my family want. Unfortunately my grandfather is going through a decline right now, so the subject comes up a lot when regarding him. He has progressed through to a moderate case of Alzheimer's and forgets who we are from time to time. But he has a designated my mother to be the decision maker if his decision becomes critical. She was surprisingly cool with this, considering that she is usually very sensitive.
ReplyDeleteIn conclusion, my talk was not only painless and comfortable but it was downright insightfull. Im glad I did it.
I havent mentioned to my family yet and i probably should. I do think these are very important so that people can get exactly what they want or need. it gets very tough when these arent there because more people start getting involved and it turns into about everyone else but the patient which shouldnt be the case. Keep it about the patient like it should be and to have it spelled out for you makes it 100 times easier on everybody involved.
ReplyDeleteAll this talk of advanced directives simply reinforces what I had already decided to do. If anything, it motivated me to actually get around to doing it. I want to type up instructions for my family (as much as they may not want them)so that, God forbid, that day comes and we will all be prepared.
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